Pie in the Sky

I speak a lot, when I have a pen and a paper, or say I love to put forth my ideas through the keyboard into the virtual notepad. That is my happy space! But then world happens, people happen, extroverts happen, and say hello to chaos. Adding to the very long list, I also (and of course) suck at socializing. You would understand how hard my life has been if I told you that college hit me like a truck for I had no friends accompanying me. Now at this point I'm totally confused as to what kind of feeling I need to have towards my best friends. It's like you make me want to believe that you're the best-est company I could ever have, make me so resistant to even try getting along with new counterparts and then almost kill me by choosing another stream in +1 so that after school ends I'm almost dead for not being able to find you into the same building anymore. And with due course of tragic events, I'm mostly surrounded by curious extroverts who are always up to poke m

When negativity piles up, (or when boards are lying in the wait) this comes out of my head. Thinking about things that don't matter Glorifying the void head, The urge to get something better Does not meet its end. Missed out on many chances, Losing hold on hopes as well, Guess I need to put up with seclusion, And let break loose, the hell. Where I live now is not real world, Nor is one where I hope to be. Faith is something non existent, And courage, a distant end to me. The floor is shaky, same as my moral Feels like close to having a fall. Governed by middling tries to set free, Maybe I can't fix this at all. The good is distant, bad is veiled Clouds so dark, no sun to be seen. And here I am, wearing on fear, Walking tight lipped, as if nothing has been. Towards the shining entity, seemingly gold A closer look, and it belongs to the fool. This is a bad loop, I set myself in Try hard to run away, end up falling into the sam

So far I've imagined a thousand scenarios about how I'm gonna be meeting that one guy who I can put a 'mine' tag onto. Everything would be so like a fairy tale. He would be, of course, the most handsome guy I ever set my eyes on. Ours would be a perfect story, with equal share of highs and lows, and everything would be so good, that....that.... I start to feel drunk,..and..  Okay let's puke creepiness. lol Almost seventeen years into this life, especially the last year has definitely taught me that things like 'fairy tale love stories' do NOT hold for real life. And as per my experiences, there's no love, there's just a story, a random shitty story with no meaning,..that its completely useless, just like this line. Having a crush on someone is one of the most disturbing things your mind can ever do to you. I really don't understand the mechanism of crushing. Is it something like, you see someone, look at them again, now you're checking th

Of course, the title points out to me. A 12th standard Math student, who sucks at Math, but is courageous (read stupid) enough to let herself fall in a damp squib of calculus and logarithms. I definitely share a love-hate relationship with the subject. Okay sometimes I kinda like the numbers and the logics. I think its pretty cool when you can find out how many Sundays you're gonna have in a year, or how many hours on an average a human gets to sleep, and,interesting stuff like that. But, but, but,...then the nasty trigonometry gets into the scene and shatters your peaceful world, or the dreadful monster calculus tries to eat you up in one go. Within a second you can go from "I know this!", to "I don't even know what I don't know!!".. The world of mathematics is definitely a bizarre place to get stuck in. People buy 72 watermelons in one go, chocolates get distributed (i mean who does that!) and farmers wish to fence their square-circular-and a bit

I hate growing up and I hate being a 12th grader. So far the only productive thing it brought along was circumstances that made me to write this post. I've tried to explain in words, that if you draw inspiration from my life and plot a graph between 'development' and 'time', you'll get a slope that slants downwards. Bruh. So much retardation. Tired of the same old bunch of monotonies. Sometimes I can foresee the destination, sometimes the long roads leading to nowhere. And most of the times, I choose to march towards that 'nowhere', without any aims set. So every time as I end up the day, I take a note on the degree of aimlessness I possessed throughout, which has witnessed a great increase of late. Over the past years, I've evolved as an improved version of ignorant and careless self. You know, I'm the person who would google "how to study for long durations", read all the articles (wasting an hour), then motivate myself delivering a

H ello there! Here is my attempt to write a poem, the first one for my blog. I call it " Discovery Of Self ", hope you like it. I had been wading that night Feeble, in search of might. I kept walking till I reached the horizon Where the world seemed to come to an end. Life persisted, but the moment was put on halt. I let the wind blow through my locks And wondered what was it. Where was everything heading to? What was the purpose underlying? I noticed a conflict within me Questioning my identity, Driving me to the roads unknown. I walked past the nonevents, Hoping to reach the anticipated high. Things were not easy, A few wounds yet to be healed My carefree being had to be left back there. Change was apparently the only constant, Life, never going to be the same. How far had I come? How many miles remained to fathom? I wondered, again. Time made me grow restless and tired, Made my heart turn less of hope. Thought it was enough to back off And continu